There was recently this really good article on Hacker News about the regrets of the dying. The author had the privilege of working in palliative care for years, working closely with patients during the last weeks or months of their lives. The five regrets he talks about are really interesting, but it’s the first two that caught my eye:
- I wish I had lived a life true to myself, instead of the one others expected of me
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
They’re both pretty common death-bed refrains, but it’s the combination that caught my eye. The thing about working too hard has always bugged me, because it seems to subtly imply that work isn’t as important as other things in life, like friends, family, etc. But is that always true? Isn’t purpose the most important thing in life? And can’t you find that through your work? Would they have regretted working so hard if the work had been part of the life they wanted? I completely understand the sentiment of wishing you hadn’t worked so hard, but only if that work was part of the life others expected of you.
Will we hear this same regret about working too hard from Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, your local pediatrician, your local inner-city youth counselor, and anyone else who works hard at the thing they were born to do?
I hope not.
You might also enjoy:
- Why I’m Learning to Love Regret
- Dream with your hands
- Listen to your heart, but don’t follow it
- Do you believe that your actions matter at all?
- Disgusting.
You should subscribe and follow me on Twitter here.
I know what you mean, Ryan. Gerry Weinberg had every reason to believe he was dying, and he kept working because his work was so cool.
It's such a cliche that "nobody ever died regretting not spending more time at their office." And I'm thinking, duh, that's got to be false. Some people slack off at work, get fired, can't get an equivalent job, lose their health care and their homes, and end up in really unfavorable situations. Surely some of them do die regretting not having spent more time at the office!
It's crazy to overwork at a job that isn't right for you. But it's also crazy to stop working just because our culture says you're supposed to love something else more.